Preparing for Postpartum: The Things That Actually Matter

gardeniasonar
May 3
3 min read

We spend months preparing for birth—attending classes, researching strollers, packing hospital bags. But what happens after the baby is born?

The truth is, birth is only the beginning. The postpartum period is raw, intense, beautiful, and deeply vulnerable. And very few people prepare for what it really asks of you—not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, relationally.

So here’s a different kind of guide. One rooted in real experience and real needs—not the “buy this” or “pack that” checklists, but the kind of preparation that holds you through one of the biggest transitions of your life.

1. Choose Your Postpartum Circle Intentionally

Think carefully about who you want around you in the first days and weeks after birth. This is not the time to please everyone or open the door to every excited visitor.

Ask yourself:

Who will truly support and nourish me?
Who respects my space and brings calm, grounding energy?
Who will honor my process and not just focus on the baby?

The postpartum period is a sensitive and sacred time—and you need an environment that protects both your healing and your bond with your baby.Anyone who doesn’t fall into that category can wait.You are allowed to protect your nest.

2. Start Working on Your Mental Health—Now

Your mental and emotional well-being matters deeply in postpartum. The better you know yourself before birth, the better equipped you’ll be when the emotional tides rise.

Explore therapy: Don’t wait until things feel overwhelming. Therapy can help you better understand your emotional patterns, boundaries, and triggers.
Look into generational trauma: Yes, it’s real. Research shows we can carry the emotional burdens of our ancestors. Reflecting on your own childhood, family patterns, and belief systems can help you become the parent you want to be.
Consider family constellation therapy: It’s a powerful way to gain clarity around family relationships and inherited dynamics—especially when preparing to raise your own child.

You’re not just giving birth to a baby—you’re birthing a new version of yourself. Let her feel supported, too.

3. Work on Your Relationship—Before the Baby Comes

Many couples wait until things are falling apart to start working on their relationship. Don’t.

Talk openly about your values, roles, and expectations as parents and partners.
Know that there will be differences—that’s okay. Perfect alignment doesn’t exist, but mutual understanding and respect can.
Make a plan: Who does night feeds? Who cooks? How will you manage exhaustion, intimacy, and emotional disconnect?

And perhaps most importantly—remember that parenthood will change you both.Leave room for those changes. Give each other grace.

4. Plan for Practical, Everyday Support

You will not be able—or expected—to do it all. Nor should you.

Start thinking now:

Who will cook?
Who will do laundry?
Who will care for older children, pets, or the home?

Support doesn’t always have to be emotional. Sometimes it looks like someone showing up with soup, folding laundry, or holding the baby while you nap.Ask for this kind of help. Plan it ahead. Don’t try to be a hero.

5. Plan for Care—For You

Everyone prepares for the baby.You need to prepare for yourself.

What kind of care will help you feel supported, grounded, and safe in postpartum?

Postpartum rehab to gently restore your body
Massage or bodywork to support healing and release tension
Therapy or postpartum coaching to process your emotions and stay connected to yourself
Quiet time, creative outlets, or movement practices that help you feel like you

You deserve to be cared for—not just as a mother, but as a whole human being navigating profound transformation.

You Deserve to Be Held, Too

Postpartum is not just a physical recovery. It’s a deep, identity-shifting journey.The more you prepare the emotional, relational, and logistical foundation ahead of time, the more supported and safe you’ll feel during this sacred chapter.

So Mama, don’t just prepare for the baby—prepare for you.Because you matter just as much as the new life you’re bringing into the world.

You are allowed to be held, nourished, and cared for.Let that be part of your birth plan, too.